LIME » Economics

Steve Jobs Requests Raise

Rainer — Wed, 07 Apr 2010 23:56:36 +0000

(CUPERTINO) After successful product launch of the iPad on last Saturday when 300 000 were devices sold on the first day, the CEO of Apple (AAPL), Steve Jobs, approached the board of directors today before the iPhone OS 4.0 special media event, requesting a raise of two times of the adjusted to the average inflation since his return to Apple.
If approved it would mean a 5.64% raise to his annual salary of $1 bringing it up to 1,06 USD per annum.
Jobs is backing up his request with his track record of successful product launches starting on 1998 withe the introduction of original iMac. Other successful product launches include the iPod and the iPhone.
The Board of Directors has called in an emergency meeting to process this request. If taking place the increased salary would be subtracted from the dividend of Apple shares and the hit would be spread between the owners. Though the request was presented during time of tough global economic turmoil and not during timed for end of Apple’s fiscal year the board is expected to approve this decision.

LIME follows the development of the situation and will continue to communicate the events to it’s readers.

More accurate news from the NY Times or the MacWorld.

Disclaimer: The author holds insignificant amount of Apple shares

Christmas is Cancelled Until Further Notice

Rainer — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 19:39:28 +0000

(Korvatunturi)The weak economic downturn isn’t affecting just employers and employees of housing and banking companies. Also traditional businesses are reporting bad news. The latest addition to closures was Father Christmas (XMAS), aka SantaClaus, who sent an application for bankruptcy earlier today, just on the eve of Christmas. According to the papers filed “Santa” has outstanding taxes and salaries. Santa also owns to suppliers for goods manufactured between 2007 and 2009.

According to the officials thousands of elves haven’t received sufficient payment for their services and Santa was only paying to them in “goods” which they had to sell or trade to feed themselves. The Officials are also investigating Father Christmas for allegations of child labor, racial discrimination and for numerous copyright infringements.

The spokesperson for the elves and the co-founder of the Secret Village, inc., Shiny Upatree, stated that the bankruptcy didn’t come as a surprise for anyone who even cared to look at the business model of Santa. “Both Bashy [Evergreen, inventor of the ToyMachine®] and me warned Santa several times that we can’t continue this way much longer. The business idea, though nice, well, it sucks — big time. You can’t just give away your products for free and expect it to work. I mean, where do we get the money for all the crap we make — not to mention licensing fees? Nowhere that’s where!, Upatree ranted, “We were first wondering where we were getting the funding from, but eventually realised that we’re living on air. At some point we were sure he was running some sort of a ponzi scheme”.

Upatree reminds that though Santaclaus may not win the entrepreneur of the year award, he never mentioned any harm to anyone and tried his best always. Upatree refused to comment why he decided to join forces with Santa if he felt the business idea was not up to par. “Even if everything fell down like a deck of cards it was rewarding to work with Santa; he loved the fanmail and took every single customer experience as his own. That was probably his demise as well: he only got good feedback so his sense of reality faded away and was replaced with illusion. He tried to please and satisfy everyone, but it’s just not possible”, Evergreen adds.

Santa Claus has withdrawn from publicity and refuses to meet members of press or give any statements. Initial hearing of the bankruptcy application is scheduled to take place on the early 2010. All deliveries and orders for this year have been frozen and Christmas has officially been cancelled. What will happen to the business of Father Christmas remains an open question.

Variable market news

Rainer — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 10:24:03 +0000

(GAIA): The world as we know is saved or doomed.
Monday started with careful market rise in Asian (~+10%) and European (~+5%) stock exchanges. According to analysts this means that the investors gained suitable trust for the markets and the World is saved now. According to other analysts the rise is based on empty illusion and they suspect the rise to fall and our World is doomed.